I always chuckle when the L word is tossed around.
Not “lesbian.” That word doesn’t make me giggle. I’m talking “love.”
Ya see, there’s this old adage that “men use love for sex, and women use sex for love.” I can admit, growing up, I threw that around a bit. Not the adage, the actual word “love.”
I mean, let's be honest...
Now that I’m a bit older, I think I’m more in the idea of being in love than the actual person. I don’t throw around “love” because I’m trying to get some. I just recently tried dating a girl who was saving herself until marriage. It didn’t work out, but not because she didn’t want to have sex, but because I think she may be a closet lesbian (see, no giggling here). Before I move on, let’s laugh at someone else, first.
So, earlier this summer, I had my sight set on a certain young lady (see Bikini Body, here). After a falling out because of psycho friend and her bicycle riding husband, the young lady I had my sights on and I parted ways. Recently, we reconnected, because she’s honestly pretty cool (and still totally banging, but that’s neither here nor there, right?). Anyhow, I notice in the, I dunno, two month span since she was single until now, she went and got herself a boyfriend.
This may or may not be them
Anyhow, the young lady proceeds to post photos of messages he writes her, telling her how he “loves her.” He also writes on her wall saying he “loves” her. I’m not stalking, (okay, maybe I am?) it’s just sitting there on the Top News of Facebook. Top news…good work, Mark Zuckerberg. Top news my ass.
Beyond the “did they fall in love in the short time I was not speaking with her?” or “were they in love when I was speaking with her and she was turning me down all the time?”, I have to laugh. Love? That quick?
See, for me, I get this rush of feelings that I love the girl. But I recognize (always after the fact), that I am wearing what I call “rose colored glasses,” or rather, I see the absolute best of the woman and purposefully ignore the flaws. I had one ex-girlfriend who, when my sister asked if she wanted to hold my new born niece, she declined. Without being asked why, she outright stated my niece was her “competition” for my attention. I laughed it off at the time. If I could go back in time and kick my own ass, I would, right then and there. Worst off, that ex-girlfriend never so much as looked at my penis. Cock-tease.
Anyhow, my issue is, I guess I sorta paint this perfect relationship in my head, even though most things are obviously going south for me. I do believe I have done that with EVERY GIRLFRIEND since I got outta high school. I proposed to a girl once, and she accepted, but what I didn’t know, was that she was also stripping on the side. More on that for a future post…
So, to sum it up, I really don’t think I loved any of my ex’s. Well…definitely one at least… Instead, I was in love with the potential that existed for this relationship. Of course, here I am, blogging about it, so we all know that potential never came to fruition. Any suggestions on how to take these damn rose colored glasses off? Leave me something, I’d “love” to hear from you.
My Microsoft Paint skills are improving. Or my cursive is failing.
World's Last Single Guy 
I wish I could tell you that there’s definitely one thing you can do to make this all better… But I’d be lying. And I don’t like to lie. Well, not about things like this, anyway. I was a serial dater for years before the whole marriage thing smacked me in the face, and I definitely thought I was “in love” lots of times, when in fact I was just dating the douchenozzle’s “potential”. Not a great idea.
On a related note, I have a friend who dated potential once. Things didn’t move along like she wanted, so she moved in with potential. Then she got married to potential. Aaaaand had a kid with him. Needless to say, things have gone from “has potential” to “no longer gives a shit about anything because he has everything he could ever want in life, including a doormat of a wife”. …I do not recommend letting things get this bad. Or marrying a dude, regardless of what I may have implied in previous comments.
Back to my previous story: People used to always tell me that I should just “stay single for a while” and “let love find me” and all that crap. I never listened. I dated, and “loved”, and quickly realized in most cases that I was just looking for that feeling, regardless of what poor sap happened along at that time. Am I a dating success story? Hell no. I’m just lucky my best friend listened to all my dating disasters over the years and still agreed to marry me after I was all washed up and had nowhere else to turn.
I guess the moral of my story is that people can tell you all day long that love will find its way to you, and it never will… until it does. Doesn’t make sense, does it? I know. Kinda like people telling an infertile chick that if she just relaxes a little, she will get knocked up. I’M AS FREAKING RELAXED AS I CAN BE, BITCHES.
…Apologies for the rant. Anyway, I think you should just make up pretty neon flyers with lots of clipart that have a list of what you’re looking for in a woman and put them up all over town. Especially in libraries, because all the freaky chicks look for love at the library. True story.
I can give you no advice. I was once “in love” with someone that was using me as his beard. Yeah, totally gay. I had no clue because I loved it that he loved to shop as much as I do.
I think people want to love so badly that they just put themselves out there. And I think that’s okay. Even if you tell everyone you love them, really? What harm did it cause? Your heart will break all the same.
I don’t want to see you so guarded that you stop yourself from loving someone that was truly worthy. Keep that in mind.
Love will find a way! yes I am singing to you.
It’s a great Tesla song, and it’s now STUCK IN MY HEAD!
Bitches be trippin yo. Truth be told…we are just dumbasses.