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Breadwinner? Are you serious??

25 Nov

I apologize for the delay, but each post I started made me sound arrogant. I realized there really is no way to write about this and sound humble.

Breadwinner. Kind of a ridiculous term.

Seriously, this is what I picture.

Seriously, this is what I picture.

It is true, I make more than WLSG (by quite a bit actually). I truly would like feedback from the readers on why this would even be an issue? Why would this be a topic of discussion? Why would he ever feel insignificant?

I promise I am not clubbing him over the head and dragging him back to my den, but it is an interesting dating strategy.

I promise I am not clubbing him over the head and dragging him back to my den, but it is an interesting dating strategy.

That feeling has to be coming from outside sources. From society. I can only assume WLSG is responding to the way he feels it should be, not the way it is in reality. And he should know, if you try to fit a square peg into a round hole, you will always be unfulfilled.

However, this is not the first time I have come across this. I had a professor tell me once that relationships between a man and a woman, where the woman has the higher degree, never work out. That is pretty sexist to both parties. I have a pretty high degree and if I can only date people on the same level, that greatly reduces my dating pool (and it was already a wading pool).

It felt (feels) as though sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard I work or smart I am, it doesn’t really make a difference to most men. What matters to them is attractiveness (I am sorry, but it truly does), understanding their sense of humor (you don’t really have to have one of your own, just not get pissed at theirs), being nice, and sex. Many men actually find women adorable if they are (or at least act) a little stupid!

Well this may hit a little too close to home.

Well this may hit a little too close to home.

I realize this is huge generalization (and not the most flattering). I suppose the topic is making me lash out a bit, because I feel as though I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I should be successful, but not more than a man. I should make a good living, but not more than a man. I should be smart and educated, but not more than a man. Sometimes I feel if I wanted a successful relationship I should have just been a stay at home mom (I promise I am not trying to start a war between working women and SAHM).

I like to do reading and research before starting these posts (like I said knowledge is power). I found some advice columns on the topic and, to be perfectly frank, most of them were crap (granted they did come from renowned sources such as Cosmopolitan). In every article the same piece of advice kept coming up, “Let him spoil you with what he can afford, don’t buy him expensive presents and don’t pay for everything.” Basically, your man has a fragile ego and if you want to have a boyfriend you need to play the part of the helpless woman. I have decided to give you my own advice if you find yourself in this situation.

  1. Don’t worry about it. Who cares?
  2. Don’t limit yourself. If you make a certain amount of money and want to live a certain lifestyle, never feel bad about that or hold yourself back for another person. Do not change who you are or who you want to be just because it may make someone else uncomfortable (whether it is your man, his family, his friends, your friends, your family).
  3. Find a guy who appreciates you, your career, and your hard work and is not in competition with you. Why should you ever, EVER, have to down play or hide what you have achieved.
Rosie knows what I'm talking about.

Rosie knows what I’m talking about.

I actually even dislike the fact that I am required to explain myself. That I am required to justify why it should be acceptable that I make twice as much as my boyfriend. As I sit here and type this, I am actually getting more and more pissed about it. It makes me look (and feel) as though I have to apologize for being successful.

Above all else female breadwinners, never apologize.

Too harsh readers?


The boyfriend’s retort

19 Nov

Can I say it’s kinda refreshing to be called out on my shenanigans on such a public forum?  I feel the need to state, here and now, that I am one-hundred and thirty, perhaps even forty, percent okay with my significant other posting on here.  It’s definitely refreshing to get her perspective in written format, as  conversation requires immediate reaction.  Giving her the opportunity to compose her thoughts and feelings into a post I hope is cathartic for her, it’s one of the reasons I opened this damned blog up.

But I digress, there’s something that needs to be answered.

So, yes, I did make a sappy-esque post in December of 2011 mentioning my then relationship reaching the three-month mark and the other party being “the one.”  No back-peddling here, readers, I was trying to sell myself on her being “THE ONE.”  Mind you, in that relationship I was dating a married woman who had a child.  Not saying there was anything wrong there, but she was STILL LIVING WITH (or rather, OFF OF) HER HUSBAND.  I’m not trying to berate this woman, but instead am trying to deliver the amount of effort I was putting into attempting to look past all of that and hope for something amazing.  Me posting that this woman was THE ONE was me trying to validate that, by having my loyal readers tell me how happy they were for me.  Sorry guys and gals, I was straight up using you. 

I have to agree with my counterpart and better half, it isn’t about being, or having, that ONE person who was meant for you.  I’m beginning to see that it’s more like being able to put up with the quirks of another person.  Look, we all do our best to impress our significant others, sometimes in effective ways and sometimes not so much.  But what happens when we really let ourselves be, well, ourselves?  When you’re lying in bed and that Enchilada-Style Chimichanga rumbles in your stomach like a 45-year-old dryer with 6 bags of mismatched socks in it?  Will that other person be okay with the foulness that could be comparable to Satan incarnate escaping from the depths of Hell rising from your sphincter?  That person may not be THE ONE, but they’re on their way to being the ONE FOR YOU.  

And burn my tongue

Sometimes I just have to look at food and think, “yep, you’re turning into poo REAL soon.”

I’m not imagining that the woman I am dating now is God’s gift to me.  Because that would require me to not put forth any effort.  I did think the last one would just be a blessing, something I was owed due to all of my prior failed relationships.  And yes, I did put in work, I did hold my breath and I did sit by the clock counting and waiting until she would eventually come around.  This hasn’t left me jaded.  Instead, it has me appreciating the woman I am with now, as she does not make me wait like that.  She communicates, she smiles, she tells me how she is and how she feels.  She doesn’t judge me for wearing my heart on my sleeve.  

I get heartaches while masterbating

Actual imagery of my muscular system

That said, what about feeling insignificant in the relationship?  I’m not posting figures, but I’m curious to hear from all those readers who are NOT the breadwinners in their relationships.  I already worry that I am not what her parents imagined her being with (and mind you, they haven’t said this, I just worry I’m not that person), but we all know we’d like to treat the other person in our relationship from time to time.  Problem is, funds are not always available to be able to do so.  So, how does one go about living with the incapability to be the breadwinner?  I know I’m not going to mooch or leach or any other synonym I can think of off of her, but I also have yet to have that feeling sync in that if something is to be done (say, dinner or fancy outing) that it is probably going to be from her wallet and not mine?  This isn’t sitting well just yet.  Thoughts?

Nine out of ten doctors recommend you do not eat this

Thanksgiving on a budget? GUESS WHO’S EATING ALONE?

Three Months – part 2

18 Nov

So I had started a different post about embarrassing moments (which I still plan to post) when WLSG reminded me that tomorrow is our 3 month anniversary. Yes, 3 months ago tomorrow is when we first met in person. This, of course, sparked my memory of a certain post he made a couple years ago. A very well written post, if not a little gut wrenching to read as the new girl. I have debated about whether or not to mention this post or bring it to your attention. However, I feel that if we just ignore the fact that it exists, it’s a little hypocritical since both WLSG and I are touting being completely open and honest. In line with our previous two posts, if there is something uncomfortable in the relationship we try to face it head on, hopefully tongue in cheek and with a joke.

Now there are many, many rants and diatribes I could go on about this post, but I will save you from that particular crazy, bitchy girlfriend moment.

I do try to be the best. Challenge crushed.

I do try to be the best. Challenge crushed.


The biggest reason I have linked to this blog post is because it talks about “the one”. This was the part of the post that struck me in the stomach. Granted, it’s not worded in that exact manner, but it is the tone or feeling of the sentence and, ultimately, the entire post. This hit me hard, not because it is about another (horrible) women (hint again: slag), but because “the one” is not a concept I believe in.

Set up enough expectations?

Set up enough expectations?

There are quite a few reasons I could go into as to why this is just not a concept I can subscribe to. I am also sure you have heard a few of them before (see Sex and the City reference above). I will only bother you with a few that bother me.

  1. It promotes laziness: I tend to believe that two people choose to be together. I would much rather decide who is best for me than some mystical being or creature (fate) forcing my life to fit into a plan. There is no wiggle room with that. No fun. No spontaneity.  This isn’t to say that some people aren’t more compatible, but if you are with the one that was meant for you then you should always agree. On everything. That is not the one, or fate, that is losing your identity to another person (which I realize is some people’s strategy in relationships)
  2. Timing: Is the one, the one your entire life? Or do you grow and change? I have to be honest here (sensing a theme?), I am not entirely confident that WLSG would have had much of a chance with me five or ten years ago (I realize this sounds egotistical, but I was pretty cool back in the day). I valued different things then, was in an entirely different place in my life and needed the recent life experiences to make me who I am today. Would my eyes (and heart) have been open in the same way? And if they weren’t, do I just get to miss out on happiness?
  3. It’s a fantasy, not attainable in the real world: It’s the happily ever after story we were promised by every Disney princess movie. You don’t even have to ever have a real conversation. As long as everyone else around is evil, uglier or not as rich, then you two are soul mates. No need to worry about whether you are actually compatible (or whether the guy is a controlling dick, which is, for some strange reason, seen as intense love. Bullshit).
  4. Playing a part: You’re a reasonably attractive person of the opposite sex who doesn’t make me want to poke my eye out when you speak, we must be made for each other! This really only seems to work if each person plays their part. In order to take any real thoughts and feelings of another person into consideration, that takes work. It also takes humility. One thing people who have found “the one” are not, is humble about their relationship. More time is spent convincing others (and themselves) how great everything is, when in reality it is hollow and only works if each person follows the rules.

This is not to say that you cannot feel lucky every day to have found the one you are with. Just admit (and be real) that it is the work you two put in and not some magical being of the universe. Take responsibility for your own happiness and (I am sorry to say), possibly your own unhappiness.


Yep, seems about right.

To make one last snarky comment about the referenced post (because how can I resist, I have shown restraint so far). At the end WLSG is filled with…hope. Which on the surface sounds so sweet and uplifting, but to me it is depressing. Who wants to sit around hoping the person they love will love them back for eternity? Hoping the time and effort spent will mean something? You would never just use hope to finish school, get a good job, or raise your children. What is the saying? Hope in one hand and…(I am sure you can finish it).

Just in case you couldn't come up with it on your own.

Just in case you couldn’t come up with it on your own.

I always thought this would be a way in which we differ, but maybe after looking back WLSG has changed his mind. Let’s see what he has to say.

Hey Jealousy pt 2 – Her side

15 Nov

Jealousy makes me feel more secure…hmmm.

The below post makes it sound as though I almost enjoy jealousy in a relationship. That could not be further from the truth. I find it to be a silly emotion and hate the fact that it even creeps up in me from time to time. Especially the fact that I tend not to let emotions rule my life. As WLSG (world’s last single guy) stated, almost every aspect of my life is grounded in logic and fact. This feeling of jealousy, however, is different. It is completely emotional, illogical, and out of my control. Now don’t get me wrong, I can hide it, tuck it away, and pretend it’s not there, but that doesn’t change the thoughts that are racing through my head or the sick feeling in my stomach.

I think I may be getting off track here. Let me start from the beginning.

I HATE EX-GIRLFRIENDS. And this is with a fiery passion. I hate the fact that there has been someone else on this planet who has shared intimacy with my man.  However, this is completely a double edge sword. I don’t want my thirty-one year old boyfriend to not have dated anyone. That would just be creepy and a little sad.

Look at that left eye!

A prime example? I suppose his internet girlfriend could count.

On the flip side, WLSG has it completely right. I couldn’t care less about any new women in his life. I do not view these women as any sort of threat to me. I am perfectly fine with the seemingly unending line of women hitting on him at his job to a stripper rubbing her boobies all up in his face. Neither of these would make me bat an eye. In fact, I find hearing the stories about them humorous. So why is it that the minute I even hear even the name of an ex-girlfriend I see red (or green I suppose would be more appropriate, very Christmassy).

Cute outfit!

Her and I would be best friends, but if his ex showed up in a garbage bag I would want to strangle the ho-ho whore with tinsel.

To be fair WLSG has never given me any reason to doubt his feelings for me, but as I said this feeling is never logical. On a sadder note, this illogical thinking has led me down the wrong path a time or two. Let me explain…

I have the sort of brain where knowledge is definitely power. If I don’t know about something you better believe I have googled it and extensively read about it. I am also really good at finding things about people on the internet (I blame my brother for teaching me and, yes, I realize this is just internet stalking, but damn am I good at it). These two traits (along with boredom and access) fuel my all-consuming need to know everything about these exes.  However, I am never exactly sure what I am looking for. Again it doesn’t matter what I find, I will always despise these women.

That's hot

I may be small, but I am scrappy. Bring it on bitches.

Now this power of googling has saved me some challenges in the past (finding out a guy I was dating was withholding important information such as having a child), but mostly it is just a torture device for myself. I find pictures, facebooks, twitters, pinterests, news articles, random websites they have posted on, job information and even addresses (and yes as I am typing this I realize how crazy I sound, but hell, it’s the truth). I usually know more about his exes than the guy I am dating does or would ever want to (hint: she was a total slag in college). And for the love of God I ask you, Why? These horrible women (yep I went there) make no difference to my life or my relationship and I certainly can’t change things that have happened in the past.

I promise this long rant and back story has a purpose. All of this brings me back to the fact that his moment of jealousy made me feel more…secure. This is not because I relish in drama and feel that jealousy is needed in a relationship. It made me feel more secure because he was feeling some of the same things I was feeling. It felt as though because he understood my perspective we could have a real, honest talk about it, and we did.

Granted, no talk could take away all the random thoughts swirling in my head. Is she skinnier than me? Funnier? Better hair? Better smile? Did she cup his balls during sex in just that right way?

And the big two…Does he miss her? And does he compare me to her?

I wish I could end this post by saying something truly meaningful and wise. Some word of advice to keep other women from tumbling down the same path I have taken, but to be honest I am not sure I am any wiser. These feelings (and abilities) are still inside me. It is something that will go away slowly, day by day, as the relationship grows. I have to accept there is no quick fix.

I also have to accept that when I have insomnia at 3 o’clock in the morning the Google fairy will strike again.

Women of the internet, am I alone in this?

Hey Jealousy

13 Nov

I always thought jealousy was an ugly, ugly characteristic.  Okay, maybe not a characteristic, as I’m sure no one is constantly jealous one hundred percent of the time (though I know a few people who probably are 99% of the time), but when it rears its head, it can be off-putting.

However, I have recently found that when jealousy does arise, if it’s discussed with your significant other, it can actually strengthen the relationship.  Am I a relationship expert?  Hells to the NO, I mean, look at the blog title, it’s right there.  I have, though, recently entered into a relationship with a wonderful young woman who is quite my opposite.  I’m more of a dreamer, finding conspiracy theories and the like crazy interesting, while she scoffs at ludicrous possibilities and grounds herself in factual data.

Tin foil makes a great hat

Sometimes I enjoy being an idiot. Don’t judge!

Anyhow, and I promise this all goes somewhere, I have been burned in the past.  Too much trust in a significant other to not dick me over (figuratively, I haven’t switched teams) has often led to me being dicked over (read previous parenthetical item for further details).  So when a warning sign comes up, albeit the tiniest of warnings, my head goes into crazy overdrive mode, suddenly imagining that the worst possible thing has occurred.

Mind you, reader, that (and this is wear I go off on a bragging tangent, my apologies) my significant other is ridiculously good-looking.  Standing at a meager 5′ nothing, weighing barely anything, she is a bombshell if there could be one.  So naturally I am aware that other men will check her out.  Hell, I still do when she’s not looking.  The concept of her running off on me was never really in my mind.

Now what’s funny, and here we go back to opposites, is that I am totally okay with her ex-significant others.  I’m not saying I’d have a beer with them, they can all go right ahead and fuck off.  But what I am saying is I am not intimidated by their presence, not in the least bit.  It’s Joe Schmoe that I don’t know.  Perhaps someone will come along who is better than me in one way shape or form (and I am not going to go into details on my traits that could be better, I have many, and by writing this I am currently not trying to modify or fix a single one of them. So there.) that may whisk her away from me.  Men are dicks.  They want what they can’t have.

If I had a sign it'd have a weiner on it

Obviously I’m never eating here. And I’m not entirely sure a hot dog followed by custard is good for the stomach.

Now my significant other is actually OKAY with women I do not know checking me out.  It’s my ex’s she is concerned with.  This boggles my mind, as they are clearly, obviously, ex’s for a reason.  And I would think I have clearly documented the travesties they have committed upon myself in this trusty little bloggy thing.  Again, opposites.  Weird.

You know the animator wanted to make his eyes pointing at her breats

I was always so jealous of that animated cat. Now I’m just jealous of all animation. My brain is wired so freaking weird.

As my girlfriend left for work yesterday morning, I noticed her school email in the Username section of Facebook.  Suddenly I start wondering if she has a super-secret Facebook account where she could potentially be flirting with dudes I’m unaware of.  Again, brain, wired weird, in overdrive mode.  Now I’m panicking.  I go through the entire day wondering if she’s talking to some other guy, chatting it up with some dude I have no idea about, I dunno!

When I get home from work, I spill to her immediately.  I have written about having open communication in the past, and now I actually have the opportunity to implement it.  She assures me I’m being stupid (okay, she didn’t use those words, it was the conclusion I came to) and that there is no one else she’d want to be with.  Then she tells me that my jealousy actually makes her feel more…secure.

Now, I’m going to attempt to do something I had never imagined doing on this blog.  I am going to turn it over to my significant other for her to share her perspective on this.  Yes, I am handing over my login information, and we will be getting her uneditted, unfiltered thoughts on jealousy, as well as whatever else she wants to think about.  Because technically, while we are in a relationship, we both are unmarried (insert joke about previous ex-girlfriend here), so while I might be the World’s Last Single Guy, I’m sure a feminine touch to this could prove to be rather interesting.

Stay tuned, we’re all in for a real treat I feel (that isn’t sarcasm, stop taking it that way).

P.S. spell-check highlighted every time I wrote the word “dicks” or “dick” in this.  Silly proper noun.

Been a minute

14 Oct

So I’m thinking on reopening the site, or at least adding more to what I’ve once created.  However, I’ve been informed that a little change up should occur, and I am totally down for that idea.

You see, first, and I believe I’ve stated this prior, but I’m prone to write when feeling upset or something occurs and I offer my perspective on it.  Now who am I to simply post my perspective as the end all be all? Simple, I’m me, doesn’t that make enough sense?  However, what if we had an additional insight?  And what if that other perspective was from a female?  Would it still be the World’s Last Single Guy?  I think it would.  

All I can promise is that it’ll still be no-holds-barred opinions on dating, but now coming from both genders.  This is not what I initially planned on starting out, but hey, I think it’s healthy and the idea is profound.  Thoughts?

Things are well, thanks for asking

19 Apr

Wow, I have certainly ignored my writing responsibilities as of late, have I not?  Things have taken an interesting, albeit positive, turn for me recently.

I rejoined  After my last tirade on the site, I’ve decided to give it another go.  So far I have had one blind date that ended in me singing on stage while a bachelorette party danced and my date making out with my neck and one young doctor who brought wine over to my house.  That was quite the run on sentence, but what the site is really showing me is that I am just being me and some women love it, some do not.  You’re not going to win them all, but I’ll tell you thus far, I feel like a fucking winner.

A young lady I have had an OPEN crush on for the past 3 years has recently tried setting me up with a friend of hers.  Now, part of me thinks the young lady I was crushing on really wants me to leave her alone, which hey, just ask, you know?  I am not stalking, I am not swarming, but if we’re going to be friends I think it only right that we, I dunno, stay in contact every once in a while?  I’ll have more on that later, but for now… I decided to put my big boy pants on and reach out to this young lady of whom I am unfamiliar with.  Our mutual friend said she is looking for a guy who is intelligent and funny, and holy shit that’s me and me.  Whilst speaking to the lass, she tells me she’s no longer dating.

Insert diatribe here…I am NOT going to go chasing anyone.  A buddy of mine, as well as my dear father, both imparted advice to me as far as having expectations.  And the advice was simple. DON’T HAVE EXPECTATIONS.  This is easier said than done, but hear me out.  It is far, FAR better to accept something than it is to expect something.  Expectations may never come to fruition, and that leaves nothing but disappointment.  I am accepting of the idea that this lady does not date.  She could be lying to me, but so fucking what, I care less.  I am accepting the prospect that my crush wants me to stay the fuck away.  And all of this I am cool with.  Because having this perspective has helped me discover that I am cool to someone.  Maybe more than just one person, but those who can’t see me being righteous, well, fuck em.

I used the F bomb there pretty vigorously, and if it offends you I apologize, but know what?  FFFFFF it.

I’m growing a beard.  I think it’s factual that brunettes prefer it to blondes, and for that I will listen to Tremendous Brunettes by Mike Doughty, because as my friend said, “Blondes are so 2000, this is 2013.”

Sidenote, my two encounters via were both brunettes.  Intriguing.

Yeah I type shirtless

This is me typing this listening to my jams.

Things are going great, thanks for asking.  Try out that thing I told you about, you may love it.

Smooth liquidation

23 Mar

I want a girl with a smooth liquidation.  I want a girl with good dividends.

How many of you know the Cake song “Short Skirt, Long Jacket”?  I only got hip to the song about 3 years ago, and I am kicking my own ass for not listening to it sooner.

While the song has a real nice rhythm and beat to it, it is the song’s lyrics that strike a chord with me.

I want a girl who gets up early.  I want a girl who stays up late.  I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity, who uses a machete to cut through red tape.

Basically the song’s about a girl who is sensible but has a wild side to her.

I want that.  Is that too much to ask?

image courtesy of

Like this girl, she gets it!!!

You know, I won’t settle for less.

But in hindsight

26 Feb

So it’s 1:00 AM, and I’m writing my paper on child abuse.  I’m stressing as this is my 3rd to last class, only two more to go and I will have TWO bachelor’s degrees!  I take a break to walk my dog, which is immediately unpleasant for me as it is extremely cold and I hadn’t decided to change out of my paper thin Under Armour shirt (yeah, it keeps you warm, when you’ve got other things on top of it!).  So I’m outside, walking my dog, trying to get him to go “potty” (that’s his key word, say potty and usually he just starts urinating immediately.  That word is great when you’re outside.  When you’re inside, it’s pure doom. DOOM) and chatting with this REALLY cute little blonde I just recently met, talking about happiness, when I see my dog grab a stick.

See, my dog is a retriever.  Golden retriever labrador retriever mix.  This dude LOVES retrieving things.  I see him grab a stick with his mouth, and suddenly his entire demeanor changes.  While he was all sniffing and looking and generally not having a blast, suddenly his head is cocked up and he’s walking pretty like he’s on a freaking runway.  His step has changed, his tail is wagging, all because of a stick, in his mouth.

It hit me right then and there.  Happiness.  It can be found in the most complex of things, or the most simplest of things.  Here I was, stressing over doing my homework, meanwhile talking to a stunning young lady via text messages who is telling me I am cracking her up.  My mood changed immediate then and there too.  I came back inside and just KILLED my paper.  I was at 4 1/2 pages out of 8, and the next thing you know I’m on page 9.  Because I am happy.  Sure, I’m single, sure I’m still in college and exhausted, but you know what?  I’m here, I’m alive, I’m going to graduate soon, and I have you, my loyal readers, following in my follies, hopefully laughing along the way.  Happiness can be obtained, I promise.

Here he is, just trottin’ along.

Nevermind my voice, or the fact that the phonebook outside gives away my location.  Just enjoy and think, if only I could be that happy.  If you are that happy, kudos, spread it around.


25 Feb

It’d be false to call something a realization when six months later you’re all like “I don’t know what happened!  I was caught COMPLETELY by surprise!” when it was simply the same damn thing that happened that you claim is what you realized six months prior.  How many times you gotta touch the stove to realize what hot is?

This reminds me of that GI Joe spoof episode.  Ridiculous and laugh out loud funny all at once.

This reminds me of that GI Joe spoof episode. Ridiculous and laugh out loud funny all at once.

So that said, I went on a blind date-ish sorta thing Saturday, February 23, 2013.  A friend of mine, and her significant other, set me up.

I feel it necessary to first start off by saying I have had the hots for my friend since first meeting her.  She’s sweet, she is ridiculously cute, and she has a mean sense of humor.  She laughs at a majority of my nonsensical sayings, more so now that I’m not trying to woo her, which in and of itself is attractive.  However, having recently met her significant other, this guy is legit.  He’s a cool guy who doesn’t go picking fights, but looks as though he could whoop an ass or two if he needed to.  So, I am extremely happy for those two and wish them nothing but continued happiness.

Maybe seeing that in me, the two had decided on a female who would fit well with me.  Unbeknownst to myself, my female friend went and purchased a hockey game ticket for me.  I love hockey, something her guy and I have in common.  To say thank you, I offered her the opportunity to wear my Detroit Red Wing’s jersey, something I highly value, to the game she was taking her guy to see a few days prior.

The dude is too fast.  Like, my car can't go as fast as he skates.  I need my car fixed...

The dude is too fast. Like, my car can’t go as fast as he skates. I need my car fixed…

Anyhow, game day comes, and I feel as though I am looking sharp.  Like, cut you sharp.  Razor effing blade sharp.  The young lady is sporadic in communication, so the three of us (myself, female friend, female friend’s significant other), plus my female friend’s room-mate, make it up to the game.  In the middle of the second period, my would be date texts me to inform me she cannot make it.  Then I start drinking more.  I received numerous pieces of advice from my awesome friends (and hilarious advice at that, serious, why are we not friends yet?) that stated I should just be myself.  Drunk World’s Last Single Guy says things that ought to get him destroyed by human hands.  Hilarious things, but seriously, I’d cry if I talked to drunk me.  He’s a dick.  Hilarious, again, but a real jerk too.

I always feel bad cutting people out of the image, but hey, this is me.

I always feel bad cutting people out of the image, but hey, this is me. And I look good.

Anyhow, I was really making a big deal out of this, I was genuinely excited.  I did not have a bad time, I just think it would’ve been better had I met my date.  My father told me to live without expectations.  Anyone know how to retrain the brain to do that?  I’m all ears.