I would approach you…but…

10 Sep

I figure it’s not a good move to reference “The Wizard of Oz” in a blog about me, being a dude, having zero luck with the ladies. So…

I seriously have no courage.

Seriously, the bow? What...you woke up and thought "yeah, a bow's a good idea"?

I, luckily, have the chance to encounter several attractive females on a near daily basis.   The issue is, I am terrible at small talk.

Just yesterday, before heading over to Life’s Crazy Joke‘s house, I stopped at the gas station.  While in line, there was a woman, not at all attractive (sorry, ma’am) wearing sweat pants, a tank top, her hair looked like Amy Winehouse would laugh at her (assuming Amy Winehouse could still laugh, today (too soon?)), and talking on her cell phone.  While she’s mid-conversation, a dude walks by her, without saying anything else, and asks, “yo, what’s yo numba?”

Now, at first I had to laugh.  The audacity, right?  But then it occurred to me, this guy has balls.  I mean, to go up to a random woman and simply ask for her number?  Nevermind she was mid-conversation, probably talking about getting her child support owed to her, and he just matter-of-factly asks for her number.

I couldn’t do that.  See, the problem with me, is I need a CLEAR SIGN.  I am so bad at reading cues from women it’s pathetic.  I can never, ever be sure if a woman is in to me unless she tells me “Hey, I want you.”  Even then, I’d probably over-think it, like “is there a taller, more attractive, more interesting guy standing directly behind me at the moment?”

Yes, my friend, she was speaking to me.

I never really know.  I think that is one of the reasons Match.com is NOT working out for me.  How do you make small talk, especially over the internet?  The only thing I can think of saying to some of the women on there is “hey, I like what you did with your hair/eyes/nose/boobs in that one picture.”  I’d usually revert to boobs, too.  I’m not classy.

So I guess my question is, avid readers (or for those waiting to make a comment referring to my once existing chin strap (fuckers)), what’s the best way to strike up conversation?  What has/has not worked for you in the past?  I’m curious, here.  Honestly.  Otherwise, I’m going to have to grow my facial hair out like the fucker above.  The first fucker, not the one with the bow.


7 Responses to “I would approach you…but…”

  1. Crystal September 10, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    Don’t wait for a direct sign. If she smiles, makes eye contact, or calls you something like, “babe” “sweetie” “hunny” take a chance and ask for her name and number. All she can do is say no. Its not like shes gonna have you arrested.

    • Meredith September 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

      AGREE! Put yourself out there dude. Seriously, what do you have to lose? Just some pride.

      Thanks for the shout out!

  2. Anonymous September 11, 2011 at 3:38 am #

    I find it hard to believe that you can’t find the “courage” to talk to or go after a girl… it isn’t hard for you to put yourself out there on here for the world to read.. is it hard for you to strike up a conversation with an old comrade from school? or how about complete strangers at work? Is it hard to strike a random conversation with them?? So what is the difference with a beautiful attractive woman?? Just the fact that she is beautiful.. She is just the same as you and I.. I say forget being a coward is hasn’t worked for you so far.. So give it ago.. what she shoots you down.. well than it’s nothing gained and nothing lost.. you will still be you in the end.. 🙂

  3. Matt Greene September 11, 2011 at 4:05 am #

    One thing I have noticed from reading your entries to this point is how much you point out the reasons why things do NOT work out for you. I am a strong believer in that you do get back what you put out – meaning if you focus or analyze on these insignificant things, they will come back to you even stronger. I’m in no way suggesting that it is not important to get to know yourself or understand your motivations, or even to grow beyond them as a person, but rather to maybe write a post about what you think makes you good, or what you are strong at. Not everyone is going to be the “ballsy” guy who approaches a complete stranger, and maybe the person that you would fit with would be the person who would not take you seriously.

    You are a smart guy, you have a wonderfully playful sense of humor, and you have a genuine goodness about you. You do not follow in others’ footsteps in most of your life choices that I know of, so why would courting be any different? What I do see sometimes is that you focus on the most mundane aspects of it. Some of the most romantic and “meant to happen” encounters are thought to be an accident, and truly if it doesn’t come naturally, doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it! You shouldn’t be in any hurry, and I think the more you push, the more the universe will push back until you learn that.

    I think very highly of you Justin, and I want you to know that! Oh and by the way, after the gay comments about the chin strap, you would think you’d be a little more cautious about references (Wizard of Oz, anyone)!

  4. GirlWhoLostOut September 11, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    I’m not sure why you think you aren’t good with women. The first time I met you, you had me in a heartbeat! You were funny, charming, nice, and of course very attractive! It was my immaturity that ruined things between us.
    Things work in mysterious ways and usually when you are least expecting it. If you just go with the flow and don’t worry so much about things then everything will happen in its own time. Don’t worry about finding a match, just worry about yourself and doing what you want. Travel, go sky-diving, do crazy things.
    You are a great person! Any girl would be lucky to have you! 🙂

  5. Kellyanne Revenaugh (@kellyyaanne) October 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    I know this post was from last month, but I laughed out loud at “yo, what’s yo numba?”. All I can picture is him saying, “‘scue me can I talk to you fo a minute? Ya…my name Darrell, it’s spelled Darrell, but pronounced Darrell…”.

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