The boyfriend’s retort

19 Nov

Can I say it’s kinda refreshing to be called out on my shenanigans on such a public forum?  I feel the need to state, here and now, that I am one-hundred and thirty, perhaps even forty, percent okay with my significant other posting on here.  It’s definitely refreshing to get her perspective in written format, as  conversation requires immediate reaction.  Giving her the opportunity to compose her thoughts and feelings into a post I hope is cathartic for her, it’s one of the reasons I opened this damned blog up.

But I digress, there’s something that needs to be answered.

So, yes, I did make a sappy-esque post in December of 2011 mentioning my then relationship reaching the three-month mark and the other party being “the one.”  No back-peddling here, readers, I was trying to sell myself on her being “THE ONE.”  Mind you, in that relationship I was dating a married woman who had a child.  Not saying there was anything wrong there, but she was STILL LIVING WITH (or rather, OFF OF) HER HUSBAND.  I’m not trying to berate this woman, but instead am trying to deliver the amount of effort I was putting into attempting to look past all of that and hope for something amazing.  Me posting that this woman was THE ONE was me trying to validate that, by having my loyal readers tell me how happy they were for me.  Sorry guys and gals, I was straight up using you. 

I have to agree with my counterpart and better half, it isn’t about being, or having, that ONE person who was meant for you.  I’m beginning to see that it’s more like being able to put up with the quirks of another person.  Look, we all do our best to impress our significant others, sometimes in effective ways and sometimes not so much.  But what happens when we really let ourselves be, well, ourselves?  When you’re lying in bed and that Enchilada-Style Chimichanga rumbles in your stomach like a 45-year-old dryer with 6 bags of mismatched socks in it?  Will that other person be okay with the foulness that could be comparable to Satan incarnate escaping from the depths of Hell rising from your sphincter?  That person may not be THE ONE, but they’re on their way to being the ONE FOR YOU.  

And burn my tongue

Sometimes I just have to look at food and think, “yep, you’re turning into poo REAL soon.”

I’m not imagining that the woman I am dating now is God’s gift to me.  Because that would require me to not put forth any effort.  I did think the last one would just be a blessing, something I was owed due to all of my prior failed relationships.  And yes, I did put in work, I did hold my breath and I did sit by the clock counting and waiting until she would eventually come around.  This hasn’t left me jaded.  Instead, it has me appreciating the woman I am with now, as she does not make me wait like that.  She communicates, she smiles, she tells me how she is and how she feels.  She doesn’t judge me for wearing my heart on my sleeve.  

I get heartaches while masterbating

Actual imagery of my muscular system

That said, what about feeling insignificant in the relationship?  I’m not posting figures, but I’m curious to hear from all those readers who are NOT the breadwinners in their relationships.  I already worry that I am not what her parents imagined her being with (and mind you, they haven’t said this, I just worry I’m not that person), but we all know we’d like to treat the other person in our relationship from time to time.  Problem is, funds are not always available to be able to do so.  So, how does one go about living with the incapability to be the breadwinner?  I know I’m not going to mooch or leach or any other synonym I can think of off of her, but I also have yet to have that feeling sync in that if something is to be done (say, dinner or fancy outing) that it is probably going to be from her wallet and not mine?  This isn’t sitting well just yet.  Thoughts?

Nine out of ten doctors recommend you do not eat this

Thanksgiving on a budget? GUESS WHO’S EATING ALONE?


One Response to “The boyfriend’s retort”

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