I get asked the strangest questions

6 Feb

Yesterday, a woman I had just met asked me if she could spend the night.  This isn’t the strange part. Not yet.

Fone/phone.  Whatevs.

Fone/phone. Whatevs.

First text. Her name and number are being withheld cause I’m not a dick.

I caught grief that my little puppy was used as a scapegoat...

I caught grief that my little puppy was used as a scapegoat…

Okay so she has a kid. Bombshell! Her brother and some person named Alias? I think that was a misspell but whatev.

How do you prove someone isn't crazy when they tell you they aren't?  I think that's grounds for early crazy warning or something.

How do you prove someone isn’t crazy when they tell you they aren’t? I think that’s grounds for early crazy warning or something.

In case you didn’t know, I’ve had problems with exotic dancers in the past. We don’t mesh well.

Why do strippers need to buy gear?  I would figure you walk out naked and hey, half the battle is over?

Why do strippers need to buy gear? I would figure you walk out naked and hey, half the battle is over?

Apparently my title of World’s Last Single Guy proceeds me…

*edited for improved anonymity*

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3 Responses to “I get asked the strangest questions”

  1. Tracy February 6, 2013 at 11:30 am #

    First of all: LOL, WHAT??

    Second, I can still read her number.

    Third, I’m glad you didn’t actually accommodate that black-market-kidney-theft waiting to happen. 🙂

  2. Amy February 17, 2013 at 2:03 pm #

    Justin. I was just remarking to your cousin how I don’t get it. You’re good-looking, you got a J-O-B, and you’re ready to commit. Yet you have not found a woman. Now I get it. THIS is why. Do not buy this woman a drink. This text discussion should have ended as soon as she asked you if she and several other people could spend the night, Tomato. Standards, bro. Raise em.
    Xo

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