20 Nov

So I know I’m always late to the music scene, but the song Madness by Muse is running through my brain on repeat, and for good reason.  If you actually listen to the lyrics, the song is talking about how love is, essentially, madness.  The anger, the thoughts, the feelings, it always, ALWAYS deviates from what one would consider to be their NORMAL self.  And for good fucking reason.  It’s true.

Seriously if you haven’t heard the song, shame on you.

The biggest thing that leads to disappointment is, wait for it…wait for it…expectations.  Each and every single one of you readers can attest to this.  When you have an expectation, albeit big or small, and that expectation is not met with satisfactory results, you are now disappointed.  While this can happen in an election (eat it, Tea Party), sports (I hate the Ravens), and even job satisfaction (two years, no raise), the part that stings most is in relationships.  Why?  Because elections will happen again in 4 years, sports happen every week (day?) and there’s always next year, and who knows, the job may not be the career.  But in relationships, we’re thinking long term.  And I’m not talking about the walking boners looking for the next one-night stand, but in the potential for a future sorta relationships.

I have started to wonder why I go for females who may be considered “outside of my league” but my thought process is that NO woman is out of my league, and the minute a woman THINKS she is out of my league she is now UNDER my league.  I’m a fucking GREAT guy, and yeah, tooting my own horn here, but you know what, so fucking what?   I care, and in the end isn’t that what another person seriously wants?  Someone who is invested in your happiness and well-being?  My sister once advised me to marry my best friend, and you know what, I end up disappointed each time because EACH woman I’ve dated since has failed to be my best friend.  All but one, and I screwed that one up royally.  Maybe I’m still paying on that one.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  Now this may be used to go against my “going after women out of my league” idealism, but I disagree.  I’m speaking more along the lines of people going back to their ex’s when clearly the first sign things weren’t going to work was when the relationship ended.  As of 2011, there are 286,038 residents of Toledo according to the census bureau.  I would say that, half being female and maybe a quarter of those women being within my age range (average life expectancy of a female is 80 years old, quarter that to give me a 20 year time frame) that leaves 35,754 females.  Now let’s say 2/3 are married.  Again, that still leaves 11,799 SINGLE WOMEN for  me to get to know within a 84 square mile range.  A friend of mine, 2 months ago, lost his job at my workplace.  Within the same week that the friend was informed he was being let go, one of his co-workers placed his two weeks notice.  I asked said co-worker if he would apply to the new position, and he imparted on me a piece of intelligence that has stuck with me since.  He said…

“I look at it like getting back with an ex.  Tell me, what about me has changed since last time that will leave me worry free that this won’t happen again?  It’s the same damn thing.”  How true he was.

Love is madness, until it works.  But is it still madness afterwards?  Is it madness when fights occur over things that should not be fought over?  What causes those fights?  Is it a legitimate argument over why someone has not sent you a text message back that moment?  I’m guilty of that.  In retrospect, I wasn’t upset over the lack of a response, I was upset over the loss of attention.  That sounds pitiful, that sounds juvenile, and that sounds sad.  I’ve learned from these, and I’ve grown from these.  I’m sure at one point the madness will end when Miss Right comes along.

I guess, as a synopsis to my diatribe, what I’m trying to tell all of you, single or not, is that A.) No one is outside of your league.  You determine your own self worth and if another cannot see that, then you’re better off without.  B.)  If you’re looking for different results after trying the same thing over and over again, perhaps try elsewhere.  While one person is rejecting you, another may be admiring your courage to put yourself out there.  and C.) Recognize the madness before it strikes.  Hindsight is indeed 20/20.  Looking back we can all see where things went wrong.  If you look, in retrospect, at what point in time the relationship, or whatever it was you had, collapsed, do you think things would be different had you known then what you know now?  Do you ever wonder how things would be different had you not let the madness take over and instead admitted to the insecurities you were feeling?

Our Love is, indeed, Madness…


2 Responses to “Madness”

  1. Jinny November 20, 2012 at 11:54 pm #

    Fucking dead on! Love it!


  1. Well this is new « World's Last Single Guy - January 30, 2013

    […] had previously said that no one is out of my league, but the unexpected happened the other […]

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