Sexual Deviancy

25 Oct

Okay, for starters I am NOT an expert on this subject, but, like my last post pointed out, I learn something new and I just GOTTA share it!

There is this thing called Paraphilia.  When I try to think of the word out loud I keep coming up with arachnaphobia, but that’s not it at all. Paraphilia is the “sexual arousal of objects, situations, or individuals that is not of normative stimulation.”  Namely, getting all sexy on things that are not considered normal in the sexy world.  We can get down with that, right?  RIGHT?!

I'd do her.  Not it, her.

Wanting to have sex with a girl in these panties? Okay. Wanting to have sex WITH these panties? Not so much.

For starters, I had a difficult time writing about this while doing my homework as I kept wanting to say things like “pop wood,” “pitch a tent,” “get a chubby,” and, oddly, “dry rub like a mutha.”  Anyhow, what I found most curious about this subject was how the sexual deviancy that is paraphilia is considered so because it is against social norms.

What society, nay world, do we live in where our norms are dictated based on what others do?  Social “norms” continue to drive what is categorized as right and wrong.  I’m not talking about living in an anarchic state, as I wouldn’t make it a minute in said situation, but why does Johnny Nextdoor get to determine if I am considered weird or not?  Granted, I took my pants off after work and haven’t had them on since, is that suddenly NOT normal?

Anyhow, back to these weirdo sex thingies.  Frotteurism makes me laugh.  Stolen from Wikipedia (because, hey, let’s be honest, it counts, it has sources), “Frotteurism refers to a paraphilic interest in rubbing, usually one’s pelvis or erect penis, against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification.”  What dude DOESN’T do this?  Suddenly I feel like I’ve outted myself, but listen closely.

The etiology (origin, beginning, you know) of paraphilia is often described as a lapse in the courting process and usually occurs in males.  Why?  Well, for starters, men get boners.  I think we can all agree on that fact, right?  The sexual arousal that comes with said erection usually has males “thinking with their one head and not the other” because, hey, it happens, I’m no doctor (yet).  So the lapse in courting process can be explained by said scenario.  Say a dude is standing in a crowded subway train with a hot female pressed closely against him.  Now this female may be unaware of said dude next to her, but he is attracted to her.  He would like to get her number, probably just to bang, but regardless the SOCIAL NORMS of courting would have him do so.  Say she never gives him attention, so while she’s given him a nooner in his pants, he can’t continue forward in said courting process.  Suddenly this dude has wood and no lumberjack to “chop” it for him.  So, he may end up with Frotteurism due to this one awkward situation because he received SOME sexual satisfaction that the insanity that is the penis caused him.  Married ladies, this also refers to your husband, in the morning, pressing his member on your butt while you’re still sleeping (I’m looking at you, Meredith and Shaun…)

I guess what I’m saying, ladies, is HELP THE COURTING PROCESS.  THE MALE REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN DEMANDS IT.

That and I’m out of euphemisms for this one post.

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