The fitness conundrum

25 Sep

So, I like to think I’m fit.

Truth is, I’m not fit. I’m simply skinny.  I eat usually 1 1/2 meals a day.  I could complain that this is due to my work schedule, but realistically, it’s due to my procrastination.  It’s not that I’m starving, and I can usually eat at any given moment, I just often get pre-occupied with chasing women who are not right for me to find time to eat.  Maybe I’m just making excuses.

I can recall a time when I would do sit-ups regularly, never to the point of puking but enough.  Maybe this was prior to me being a cigarette smoker.  I would brag about my “eight pack” when a female pointed out that you can see my ribs, and that even children have defined stomachs.  Now, I think she was a pedophile, but it’s true, my ribs are completely visible (and I’m surprised they’ve yet to be broken).

Seems about accurate

This was after my first touchdown in baseball…

I, and you may laugh at this, have been paying for a gym membership that I have not used in over a year now.  I understand the point of exercise, and I am SURE it is invigorating, but simply, I’m looking to gain muscle and I can’t lift SHIT for weights.  Legitimately I should be in my niece’s ballet class with 2 1/2 lbs dumb bells taped to my arms and legs, that is about the extent of my exercise capabilities.  They say personal trainers help you achieve results, but the only way a trainer is gonna help me bench more is by lifting that fucking Olympic barbell off of my caving in chest.

I recognize that I am not in great shape.  I am not out of shape, I’m simply not in shape either.  And frankly, I’m more motivated to talk about it than do anything about it.  Thoughts?


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