19 May

…equals the number of days I’ve been back in Toledo.  2 Years today marks when I moved back.  So what’s happened since I’ve come back?

Three girlfriends, 60 some credit hours in college, 3 new tattoos, an awesome nephew, a new apartment, and a WHOLE lot of ignorance.

I wanted this to be a celebratory post, but first I need to tell you about last night.

So, if you didn’t already know, I am not the world’s largest guy.  A customer who is on pace TO BE the world’s largest guy visited me at work last night to have his new phone turned on.  What could have been a simple phone call into customer service instead turned into a racist, conservative fiasco.  The customer, whose name I will not share but will say it rhymes with Hairy Dough, arrives in our store, the only customer in the place, so far so good.

He is having his military grade phone that has a known hinge issue replaced with the same item, one in which will no longer work in Northwest Ohio in the next month.  I inform him of this, but he doesn’t care.  He wants the new one turned on.  The issue with this model of phone is the way the SIM card is inserted.  Seriously, you have to apply pressure to it not unlike popping a zit.

Not shown? The booger under the index finger that properly grips the F’ing SIM card…

As I am applying pressure, he is telling me to “BE CAREFUL.” I know, guy, I do this for a living.  I actually said that to him.  Here’s a ROUGH re-enactment.

“Be careful with that.  It’s got all my important phone numbers in it.”

“Will do, sir.  I do this for a living and your phone is important to me.”

“Don’t bullshit me.  I’m a bullshitter, I’ve been bullshitting before you were alive.”

“Well, I haven’t been alive too long, sir, but I was raised to not swear in public.”

“Yeah, well if you mess that up, you’ll prefer me swearing to what comes next.”

“Gotcha.  Like I said, I do this for a living, so don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

“Oh yeah?  Well Obama is the president for the living and he has no idea what he’s doing!  We don’t even know where he’s come from!”

“I do believe they found his birth certificate stating he was born in Hawaii, sir.”

“He gave General Motors all that money and they have yet to pay it back!”

“I’m pretty sure General Motors paid that money back, sir.”

“Yeah well they haven’t paid ME back!”

Now, I know politics is a no-no to talk about at the work place, so I wanted to state only facts and not opinions.  Clearly the customer was talking about how GM paid back some of the bailout they received in the form of stocks, and the bailout came from TARP funds.  What about the bailouts the banks have received?  I’ve been working since 1998, so I’ve been paying taxes since then, and I have yet to see any of my tax money returned to me other than the taxes I do every year.

“And he eats dog!”

What. The. F….

Clearly, the gentleman decided to spout out his conservatism at a store where it’s pretty much inheritably known not to discuss politics. So I decided to ignore it and move onward.  Sure as shit, his SIM card wouldn’t work so we decided to replace it for him, free of charge.  He immediately was upset it wouldn’t work, so I told him I would manually connect the working phone to the new one and transfer his numbers for him, so he would not be without his contacts.

Pretty decent thought, right?  NOOOOOO

“You manhandled and broke my SIM card!”

“I don’t think that’s what happened, sir.  The good news is, I will replace your SIM card and recover your contacts so you’re not without.  Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll start on that and bring you the phones when I’m finished?”

“No, I think I’ll stand right here and watch so you don’t abuse my phone any more.  You don’t want to make me any angrier, you won’t like it.”Incredible Hulk much?

Guess what part of this picture I drew!

Now, beyond the fact that we had his phone operational again, he decided this morning, my celebration day of two years back home, to call into the store and tie up our manager on duty for ten minutes talking about how much of an idiot I am and how big my ego is.

He’s half right, I have a HUUUUUGGGGGEEEEE EGO.  He said if I knew half as much as I pretended to, I wouldn’t be such an idiot.  My manager replied that, actually, I have more passing (very satisfied) surveys than any other representative in our store.  His response?

“Well, Toledo is full of liberal idiots.”

Two years back, another liberal idiot happy to be home around some amazing friends, a wonderful family, and a bunch of other idiots.  Let’s celebrate.


2 Responses to “731…”

  1. E.S. Cameron May 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

    You know, I always try to respect others’ beliefs, be they political, religious, or other. But it’s really hard when other people can’t be as civil and turn it into personal attacks. What happened to respect and civility? You know, as in “civilization”?

    • worldslastsingleguy June 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm #

      I think it has something to do with people being afraid of other view points. Humility brings civility. If I believe I’m always right, then anyone else with a dissenting opinion must be stupid. It’s a damn shame.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: