Ugh

4 Oct

Well, since I’m still not dating, let’s talk about something else.

How about the fact that I am viciously sick?

I hate…no, hate isn’t strong enough.  I despise, with all that I am capable of, being sick.  I want to know who I upset enough to get sick.  Was it God?  I didn’t mean to use Your name in vain, Sir.  It was the unruly driver ahead of me that sort of forced me to yell it out.  Sorry?

So I went to the doctor yesterday.  She was examining me when she told me my ears were red.  I told her she had a lumpy butt.  Then she yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I’m still wearing my pee pants.  So only two of those previous sentences are true.  The other two, well, yeah.

My throat feels like this kid's hair looks.

I drove to Walmart Saturday night to pick up some Tussin (well, I didn’t pick any up, but as Eddie Murphy’s father would say, just put some Tussin on it).  I went with Tylenol Day AND Night cough medicine.  The day time medicine works pretty well, considering it tastes like what I imagine my cat threw up last night.  The night time stuff though?

Hey, Tylenol.  Just because you changed the color from orange to purple does NOT make it a qualified night time cough suppressant!  It even said SEVERE on the label, and I may just be being a baby, but any cold I get is severe.  What I think they failed to print was “this cough suppressant SEVEREly doesn’t help you get to sleep.”  Because that is what it did.  It failed at putting me to sleep.

I think "Cool Burst" is Latin for "Cat's Ass"

So now, here I am, coughing up a yellowy substance that rivals marbles in consistency, my nose feels like a faucet that won’t turn off, and I go into coughing fits while driving that makes me look like a Japanese epileptic child watching Pokemon.

I hate being sick.

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9 Responses to “Ugh”

  1. Samantha October 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

    I feel your pain 100%. I have the same thing right now and using the same meds! Next time try the pills…same effect (or lack there of at some points) but no cats ass taste. Feel better! 🙂

    • worldslastsingleguy October 4, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

      When a woman tells me to “try the pills” I tend to get nervous…:-p

      • Samantha October 4, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

        Well, if you prefer to drink cats ass you can and I am pretty sure I don’t want to know how you know what cats ass taste like.

        p.s thanks for sending me into a coughing fit with that comment, although I like to believe I looked better than a “Japanese epileptic child watching Pokemon.”

  2. AmazingGreis October 4, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

    Feel better soon! What works for me? VapoRub and Nyquil!!

  3. Steph October 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Whenever I am getting sick I drink a hot toddy, not the greatest tasting unless your an alcoholic, but it really does the trick. If you are dead set on using medication to cure your ills use benidrill and sudiphed and I am sure at least half of that is misspelled sorry lol. Feel better 🙂

  4. Chrissy October 6, 2011 at 3:02 am #

    Unisom and Mucinex for nighttime, any kind of decongestant for energy in the daytime plus the Mucinex again for coughing. Cough drops, tea, zinc and vitamin C. I keep all of these things in my medicine cabinet specifically. Unisom comes in really handy for the occasional bout of insomnia that comes with working nights. Mucinex is a killer cough suppressant but it runs about sixteen bucks a box…worth it to me though. Get one of the decongestants you have to sign out from behind the pharmacy counter, those are the ones that help you stay awake in the daytime. Same stuff they use to make crystal meth. Enjoy!

  5. Meredith October 7, 2011 at 1:07 am #

    It’s going around. I’ve blown my nose so much that I look like one of those people on crystal meth that itched all the bugs off her skin.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  6. Crystal October 12, 2011 at 6:04 pm #

    Being sick sucks balls. I was sick for like, two weeks straight. Like, close to deathly ill. I had to take real prescriptions. Hope you feel better now

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