Hate hate hate

20 Sep

Show us yer face, brother!

Seriously, this has gone so off track, I gotta put an end to it here. The amount of hate and animosity this blog has created, or rather stirred up, is NOT the direction I wanted this to go, so I’m putting the axe down right here.  Any other hate filled comment or post towards me regarding someone, anyone, in particular will be deleted.  Sure, hate on me for my bad decisions (chinstrap, anyone?), but every story has two sides, and seeing how this is MY website, you’re getting MY side.  Don’t like it? Create your own damn website.

From there, let’s talk about Mother’s Day.  Not the actual holiday, but the celebration of mothers in general.  Ya see, I had this HUGE thing against dating a woman who has children.  Which, looking back, was awfully selfish of me.  In order to understand why, let me humble myself with a story.

Twenty seven-ish years ago, my father and mother divorced.  They fought for custody of myself and my older sister, with my father attempting to win custody of us both while my mother trying for custody of my sister.  The court decided my father would have me, our natural mother my sister.  Now, I have no children, so I cannot begin to imagine the strain of being without your children could create.

Trying to get back to life in general, my dad began dating a lovely young woman.  He told her, on their first date, that he had two children.  If that bothered her, then they’d enjoy their date tonight and not progress from there.  To my delight, it did not bother her.  This woman went on to marry my dad, and has been the only mother I have, honestly, ever known.

For her to take such a big risk like that, to date someone who has kids from a prior relationship, I can’t help but be amazed.  However, I could not be more fortunate, either, as this woman has been the best mother and I am so, SO, very blessed to have her in my life as such.

So how is it I can credit her with being so brave and strong as to enter a relationship where her partner has children, yet I can’t do the same?  I don’t think that’s hypocritical, it’s simply calling it like it is.  However, I had the fortune of talking to some people who sort of opened up my eyes to the “single mother” world.  They were telling me that, becoming a mother, the person gains a whole new level of maturity.  I don’t buy that, seeing as how the ruffians who steal and what not today are more than likely being raised by a woman only 12 years their elder (that’s a gross thought, isn’t it?).

Then I realized, not all relationships work out.  Look where I’m at here.  World’s Last Single Guy.  If things had worked out, in any of my prior relationships, I’d probably be fornicating instead of typing this.  Or taking a shit, which, you know, I might do anyway.

I’m not saying I am considering single mother’s because I’ve run out of other options.  I’m saying I’m considering it because I can’t hold them accountable for a failed relationship from their past.  Of course, they may be the cause, but that’s the fun little mystery of dating, isn’t it?

This one goes out to all the moms out there.

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4 Responses to “Hate hate hate”

  1. Crystal September 20, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

    I dont see anything hypocritical about not wanting to date a single mother. I don’t date men with children, for the most part. I understand relationships end, even after children are involved, but that creates a whole new issue in the relationship.

    I love children and I know I would get attached to the child and never want to end the relationship with the guy, no matter how horrible it is, for fear of never seeing the child again.

    My friend married a guy with two children. She was 21 and his oldest child was 16. Dating single parents is very tricky.

  2. meg September 21, 2011 at 4:37 am #

    no sense in holding bg back now, right, it is your blog. She has one of her own, and nu not sure if she mentioned thst she comes from a mother who’s a published author amd a foster who heys paid to blog…maybe someday, if you stop referring to her as a psycho you might get to read the wonderful things she had written of you (until recently, but can you blame her?) in fact I think she posted the fb convo where apparent relationship she fucked up was actually A ” hes too needy..blah ve blah” but illl spare you. maybe she willl let you have at it (the blog that is) ady somw point when you maybe, I dunno stop referring to her as a psycho and blaming her for killing a relationship thst was never going to happen..but yes,, the end to the hate would be great, I’m sick of seeing her all pissed like. Date the mom, you might surprise yourself, from wjat I understand you are great woth kids (one of her selling points to me about you)

  3. meg September 21, 2011 at 4:40 am #

    A sister who gets paid to blog* ( try typing with a cast on your hand)

  4. Meredith September 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Whoa. Don’t know what’s going on up there in the comment section.

    But, from a once single mother, I will tell you, and my husband will tell you, it is difficult to date. But he was sick of idiot girls and I was sick of idiot men. So for us, it worked out because we both wanted family, and I already had one ready to go for him with my oldest son who was already two-years-old.

    We were engaged in a year and married a year after that. We got pregnant two months after we were married. My second child, his first. But if you ask him, he will tell you it was his second child as well. That’s just how he is.

    But dating a single mom is a commitment. You can’t dip in and out. You can’t meet the kid and freak. You have to be steady or nothing. So just know this going in. Single moms don’t take well to drifters. And if you’re not ready for that – then don’t date a woman with children. I’m not going to lie – I don’t know if I could date a guy with children.

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