Not finishing

9 Sep

Contrary to popular belief, nice guys do not finish last.

They actually don’t finish at all.

Real life event here, folks.

I am becoming more self-aware of the fact that I am too damn nice to the opposite sex.  Even ex-girlfriends.  Now, mind you, on here, I’m not talking to any of them (however, if any of you ARE reading this…stick around, I’ll get to you soon), so I am speaking my mind.  Face to face?  Different ball game.

I once had an ex-girlfriend who was interning for a job that took her out of town.  At the time, every time she was preparing to leave, she would break up with me.  Upon returning, she would tell me how big of a mistake she made and would BEG me to take her back.   And I did.  Worst part?  When I did take her back, she STILL wouldn’t have sex with me.

I think it has something to do with me wanting to be liked.  I think that is why I do so well in sales, because I want the customer to like me.  Did you know I was once robbed at gun-point?

Yes, the guy had a fucking gun to my kidneys.

Funny story.  I was working for a cellular phone company in 2009, and on a particular busy day my co-worker called me before my shift and begged me to come in early to help him out.  I get there and sure, it’s busy, but no big deal.  Three hours later, no customers, this guy asks me if I am okay with him splitting early.  Now, it was in October and it had to be seventy degrees outside.

It's warm out, I gotta catch some rays, brah!

The night passes, and 2 minutes until the store closes, a guy walks in wearing; a black ski mask, a black coat, black pants, black boots, and a black duffel bag.  The minute he walks into the door, I look at him and say…

“Hi.  What can I do for you today?”

Really? REALLY?!  Hey, I know you weren’t snow boarding or anything, seeing as it was 70 degrees today, so, you know, dig the ensemble.

This was not the individual who robbed me.  Close though.

Hey does this gun make my thumb look big?

My father recently said to me, “You will never be disappointed when you act according to how you truly feel instead of as how you think others expect you to act. People, in general, suck. I’d much rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.”  I need to listen to him more often.  That’s some DEEP shit right there.  Thanks, Pops.

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